Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Eraser Phrases
I have been thinking of “eraser phrases.” You know, the things we say when we need to undo something we have said or done. We all know them and even use them. As a service to my loyal readers (and all the rest of you, too) here is “Jerry Godsey’s Handy Dandy Eraser Phrase Guide:”
* “Bless his heart.” You can say anything you want about someone as long as you begin the sentence by saying it. Like this, “Bless his heart, he’s dumber than a stump.” See, without the eraser phrase that’s downright mean, but with the eraser phrase it is somehow nicer.
*”With all due respect.” This eraser phrase allows us to take a swipe at someone who outranks us. “With all due respect, sir, that’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.” A lot of people who have been fired used this phrase. It doesn’t always work, evidently…
* “I don’t mean that in a bad way.” I got this one from comedian Dom Irrera . He calls it the Italian eraser phrase. Here’s how Dom uses it. “That guy is a lowlife scummy little fat rat weasel… I don’t mean that in a bad way.” See, the eraser phrase makes it okay.
*”…but I’m not a bigot.” Often used by bigots to hide the fact that they are indeed bigots. “I can’t stomach dealing with Slobovians, but I’m not a bigot.” Yeah, tell that to the Slobovians…
* “God bless him.” This is one of the Christian eraser phrases. It’s used like this, “He’s just not a nice person, God bless him.” It doesn’t have the panache of some of the other ones, but it does feel religious, so people use it.
*”I’m only telling you this so you can pray about it…” Ahhh, the most often used Christian eraser phrase. Somehow we think that we can gossip all we want if we use this phrase. “Well, you know he’s committing adultery and his kids are a mess. But I’m only telling you this so you can pray for him.” Truth be told, all a Christian needs to hear is, “He’s having some problems…” and they will get to praying. Anything beyond that is gossip masquerading as a prayer request.
And finally, God has an eraser phrase of his own. I doubt he is real pleased with any of the other ones, but this eraser phrase is close to his heart.
“You are forgiven.” There it is. The ultimate eraser phrase. When God says this, all of your past sins are gone, not to be brought up ever again. The difference between God’s eraser phrase and all the others is that God’s phrase really works. It truly does erase everything that came before it. In fact, it’s already done. God has already forgiven us, all we have to do is accept it. How sad that so many people will walk around with their hearts torn up and burdened, hanging their heads and wondering if their life is really all it is supposed to be. They act happy on the outside, yet inside they know something is missing. They need to apply God’s eraser phrase.
So how do you apply the phrase? A simple prayer that says, “God, I accept your forgiveness. Please make my life yours…” BANG! The eraser phrase gets applied and you are on the road to a better life. It really is that easy. Drop me a line at jerry@remnantchurchonline.com if you have questions about what’s next. You’re going to love your new life!
Applying God’s eraser phrase to myself… Jerry
* “Bless his heart.” You can say anything you want about someone as long as you begin the sentence by saying it. Like this, “Bless his heart, he’s dumber than a stump.” See, without the eraser phrase that’s downright mean, but with the eraser phrase it is somehow nicer.
*”With all due respect.” This eraser phrase allows us to take a swipe at someone who outranks us. “With all due respect, sir, that’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.” A lot of people who have been fired used this phrase. It doesn’t always work, evidently…
* “I don’t mean that in a bad way.” I got this one from comedian Dom Irrera . He calls it the Italian eraser phrase. Here’s how Dom uses it. “That guy is a lowlife scummy little fat rat weasel… I don’t mean that in a bad way.” See, the eraser phrase makes it okay.
*”…but I’m not a bigot.” Often used by bigots to hide the fact that they are indeed bigots. “I can’t stomach dealing with Slobovians, but I’m not a bigot.” Yeah, tell that to the Slobovians…
* “God bless him.” This is one of the Christian eraser phrases. It’s used like this, “He’s just not a nice person, God bless him.” It doesn’t have the panache of some of the other ones, but it does feel religious, so people use it.
*”I’m only telling you this so you can pray about it…” Ahhh, the most often used Christian eraser phrase. Somehow we think that we can gossip all we want if we use this phrase. “Well, you know he’s committing adultery and his kids are a mess. But I’m only telling you this so you can pray for him.” Truth be told, all a Christian needs to hear is, “He’s having some problems…” and they will get to praying. Anything beyond that is gossip masquerading as a prayer request.
And finally, God has an eraser phrase of his own. I doubt he is real pleased with any of the other ones, but this eraser phrase is close to his heart.
“You are forgiven.” There it is. The ultimate eraser phrase. When God says this, all of your past sins are gone, not to be brought up ever again. The difference between God’s eraser phrase and all the others is that God’s phrase really works. It truly does erase everything that came before it. In fact, it’s already done. God has already forgiven us, all we have to do is accept it. How sad that so many people will walk around with their hearts torn up and burdened, hanging their heads and wondering if their life is really all it is supposed to be. They act happy on the outside, yet inside they know something is missing. They need to apply God’s eraser phrase.
So how do you apply the phrase? A simple prayer that says, “God, I accept your forgiveness. Please make my life yours…” BANG! The eraser phrase gets applied and you are on the road to a better life. It really is that easy. Drop me a line at jerry@remnantchurchonline.com if you have questions about what’s next. You’re going to love your new life!
Applying God’s eraser phrase to myself… Jerry
Steve And His Underwear
My friend Steve showed up at Remnant Sunday and said he was in such a rush to get to church that he had to glance down and make sure his underwear wasn’t on the outside of his pants. Thankfully, that was not the case and we could continue our conversation without the awkward embarrassment that only a grown man with underwear over jeans can bring. My kids used to wear their underwear over their sweats, but they also had a towel pinned around their neck and made superhero noises. I checked Steve’s neck, no towel, so he wasn’t channeling his inner Superman.
And why does Superman wear his undies outside of his tights? Maybe that was the style on Krypton. Somebody needed to clue him in that we don’t do things like that here. You ain’t in Krytpon no more… But I digress.
Steve’s potential underwear crisis had a point. He said that you could have everything together, but still in the wrong place. And he was right. Underwear under your clothes, good. Underwear outside your clothes; bad. Unless you are Madonna or Britney Spears, and that puts you in a different bad category all your own.
I started thinking about how many people do the right thing on the outside, but are wrong on the inside. They go to church, but it is merely to make an appearance. They know they should, so they do, but they don’t apply themselves to get anything out of it. And don’t use the excuse that the pastor or priest is boring. If you are bored every Sunday, first check your heart, then check the preacher. You may need an attitude check or your pastor may be boring, and not really able to meet your spiritual needs. If that is the case, find a place that will minister to you, and where you can minister. Church is a two way street. You go to church to have your spiritual needs met, but one of the ways you meet your spiritual needs is by ministering to other people. In this case, it is better to give AND receive. You have to admit, God has a great economy!
I see marriages that are hanging on by a thread. The people are still together, but they aren’t really married, they just live in the same house. That is underwear on the outside. Here’s what I know. God hates divorce. “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.”(Malachi 2:16 The Message” But I alos know that God wants me to be happy and fulfilled in my life. So if that is the case, then God must be able to make me happy in my marriage. Makes sense to me. And I know it works, because it happened for Lanette and I.
So what about you? What parts of your life are in the wrong order, or out of place? We make New Year’s Resolutions this time of year. Some people are dieting, or have quit smoking, or any number of other things they want to accomplish. How about letting God put your spiritual life together being the number one priority for you this year? You just might be surprised to find that your underwear actually fits better on the inside!
Checking my outfit… Jerry
And why does Superman wear his undies outside of his tights? Maybe that was the style on Krypton. Somebody needed to clue him in that we don’t do things like that here. You ain’t in Krytpon no more… But I digress.
Steve’s potential underwear crisis had a point. He said that you could have everything together, but still in the wrong place. And he was right. Underwear under your clothes, good. Underwear outside your clothes; bad. Unless you are Madonna or Britney Spears, and that puts you in a different bad category all your own.
I started thinking about how many people do the right thing on the outside, but are wrong on the inside. They go to church, but it is merely to make an appearance. They know they should, so they do, but they don’t apply themselves to get anything out of it. And don’t use the excuse that the pastor or priest is boring. If you are bored every Sunday, first check your heart, then check the preacher. You may need an attitude check or your pastor may be boring, and not really able to meet your spiritual needs. If that is the case, find a place that will minister to you, and where you can minister. Church is a two way street. You go to church to have your spiritual needs met, but one of the ways you meet your spiritual needs is by ministering to other people. In this case, it is better to give AND receive. You have to admit, God has a great economy!
I see marriages that are hanging on by a thread. The people are still together, but they aren’t really married, they just live in the same house. That is underwear on the outside. Here’s what I know. God hates divorce. “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.”(Malachi 2:16 The Message” But I alos know that God wants me to be happy and fulfilled in my life. So if that is the case, then God must be able to make me happy in my marriage. Makes sense to me. And I know it works, because it happened for Lanette and I.
So what about you? What parts of your life are in the wrong order, or out of place? We make New Year’s Resolutions this time of year. Some people are dieting, or have quit smoking, or any number of other things they want to accomplish. How about letting God put your spiritual life together being the number one priority for you this year? You just might be surprised to find that your underwear actually fits better on the inside!
Checking my outfit… Jerry
A Pregnant Man?
In 1999 people were abuzz with the story of Lee Mingwie who was purported to be the world’s first pregnant man. If you go to his website, www.malepregnancy.com, you will find ultrasound pictures, links to the hospital and the genome company who helped accomplish this amazing feat. I guess something went wrong, though, because he has been carrying that baby for ten years and it still isn’t born. Some pregnancies are rougher than others, I guess.
If you haven’t guessed it by now, the site is a hoax, a piece of internet art by two men who are very talented and more than a little twisted. People believe the site is real and send emails either in support or opposition.
Maybe it was that site that encouraged Thomas Beatie to try to conceive a child. Only this time it wasn’t a hoax. Thomas even appeared on Oprah to show the truth. A man really is pregnant!
Well, not really a man. See, Thomas was born Tracy, who made it all the way to the Miss Teen Hawaii finals. Tracy felt that she was a man trapped in a woman’s body, so she had her breasts removed, starting taking male hormones and had her gender legally changed to “male.” Tracy became Thomas and began living as a man. The rub here is that Tracy, er, Thomas, kept her female parts. That allowed him, her, whatever, to be artificially inseminated by Nancy, Thomas’ partner.
“The Advocate” was the first to trumpet the news of a pregnant man, then the wire services picked it up, then Oprah got involved. A pregnant man, surely anything is possible now. Beatie told Oprah that he considers it a miracle.
Well, before any of you men get fitted for maternity clothes, let’s think this through. Thomas Beatie is not a man. She is a woman. A beard, flat chest and a name change do not make you a man. Understand, I am not casting off on this person’s lifestyle choice, although I think it is a little, okay, a lot, drastic. I just think it’s crazy to call Thomas a pregnant man, when she is clearly a woman with a beard. However, I have seen other women with facial hair, so maybe she isn’t really all that rare after all.
Abraham Lincoln used to ask people, “If you call a dog’s tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have?” Most people would answer five. Lincoln would correct them, saying “Only four, calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” Same rule applies here. Calling Tracy Thomas doesn’t make her a pregnant man.
I see people all the time who try to rationalize their sins the same way. “My sin of (fill in your pet sin here) isn’t as bad as others, so it must be okay.” A few years ago the comedy troupe Isaac Airfreight used to do a routine about the “Amazing Ronco Bible.” The beauty of the Ronco Bible was that you could take any sin you wanted and turn it into a virtue. If you didn’t like a certain portion, you could just take it out. You tailored your Bible to your life instead of tailoring your life to the Bible.
It makes a great comedy skit, but not great for a life that is trying to please God. Sure there are things that God has asked of me that are tough, but I know they are for my own good. Sure, being good to people can be tough. Forgiveness is really hard, and I would just as soon live any way I like, but those things aren’t good for me or anybody else. I’ll stick with God’s way, he really does know best.
Not pregnant, just chubby… Jerry
If you haven’t guessed it by now, the site is a hoax, a piece of internet art by two men who are very talented and more than a little twisted. People believe the site is real and send emails either in support or opposition.
Maybe it was that site that encouraged Thomas Beatie to try to conceive a child. Only this time it wasn’t a hoax. Thomas even appeared on Oprah to show the truth. A man really is pregnant!
Well, not really a man. See, Thomas was born Tracy, who made it all the way to the Miss Teen Hawaii finals. Tracy felt that she was a man trapped in a woman’s body, so she had her breasts removed, starting taking male hormones and had her gender legally changed to “male.” Tracy became Thomas and began living as a man. The rub here is that Tracy, er, Thomas, kept her female parts. That allowed him, her, whatever, to be artificially inseminated by Nancy, Thomas’ partner.
“The Advocate” was the first to trumpet the news of a pregnant man, then the wire services picked it up, then Oprah got involved. A pregnant man, surely anything is possible now. Beatie told Oprah that he considers it a miracle.
Well, before any of you men get fitted for maternity clothes, let’s think this through. Thomas Beatie is not a man. She is a woman. A beard, flat chest and a name change do not make you a man. Understand, I am not casting off on this person’s lifestyle choice, although I think it is a little, okay, a lot, drastic. I just think it’s crazy to call Thomas a pregnant man, when she is clearly a woman with a beard. However, I have seen other women with facial hair, so maybe she isn’t really all that rare after all.
Abraham Lincoln used to ask people, “If you call a dog’s tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have?” Most people would answer five. Lincoln would correct them, saying “Only four, calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” Same rule applies here. Calling Tracy Thomas doesn’t make her a pregnant man.
I see people all the time who try to rationalize their sins the same way. “My sin of (fill in your pet sin here) isn’t as bad as others, so it must be okay.” A few years ago the comedy troupe Isaac Airfreight used to do a routine about the “Amazing Ronco Bible.” The beauty of the Ronco Bible was that you could take any sin you wanted and turn it into a virtue. If you didn’t like a certain portion, you could just take it out. You tailored your Bible to your life instead of tailoring your life to the Bible.
It makes a great comedy skit, but not great for a life that is trying to please God. Sure there are things that God has asked of me that are tough, but I know they are for my own good. Sure, being good to people can be tough. Forgiveness is really hard, and I would just as soon live any way I like, but those things aren’t good for me or anybody else. I’ll stick with God’s way, he really does know best.
Not pregnant, just chubby… Jerry
Soren Pooping
I never thought that pooping would be considered cute. And, for most people, it probably isn’t. But my grandson, Soren, is not most people.
He groans and his whole body shakes, then grunts hard. All the while, his grandma and I laugh like hyenas on a bender. We make cooing noises and say things like, “You’re pooping aren’t you? What a cutie! He’s so cute.” And we mean it. He’s pooping, and we think it’s the cutest thing in the world! We really need to get out of the house more often…
Of course, Soren is six weeks old. I doubt very seriously that as he ages his pooping will continue to be such an event. In fact, once it starts to stink, I doubt that Lanette and I will laugh with such joy. We will probably be glad that Soren can go back to his mom and dad while we go on our merry way.
So why is pooping so cute? It isn’t, really. Soren is cute. He is our first grandbaby and we love him like crazy. Lanette and I were holding Soren and talking about how ga-ga we are over this little guy. She looked at him and said, “Yeah, and he hasn’t done anything to deserve it.” And she’s right. Soren doesn’t do anything exciting, really. He doesn’t really laugh. Oh, we say it is a laugh, but it is really gas and we know it. I mentioned on my Facebook page that I would like to be able to pass gas like Soren does. His whole body is involved and everybody thinks it’s cute. When I pass gas, nobody thinks it’s cute.
No, Soren hasn’t done anything to deserve our love and devotion. Yet, we offer it unconditionally and unwaveringly. We really would do anything we could for this kid. I would fight any man alive to protect him, and God help the guy who tried to hurt him. I may not be the strongest guy in the world, but I would surely be the most motivated.
As he gets older he will grow and more things will be expected of him. Sure, pooping in your diaper is cute at six weeks. At six years old, not so much. At sixteen, well, there’s a real problem.
One of the great things about the church I co-pastor, Remnant, is that we have so many people who are new to faith. They are learning and growing, and it is exciting. Now, as they grow, they make mistakes. It is a natural part of the growth process.
We are currently in the beginning of a series on sexuality called, “You Can’t Say That In Church.” The idea is that we can glorify God by our purity and the way we handle this touchy area of life.
As the church continues to grow in size and in spiritual depth, Jeremiah and I will expect the people who attend Remnant to grow in this area and others. If you fail, you can take care of that, it’s part of growth. If you continue to fail in the same area, something is wrong with the way you are handling yourself.
I know people who have been in church for twenty years. They don’t have twenty years of experience, they have one year’s experience twenty times. They continually make the same mistakes in their lives because they refuse to give God the place in their lives he really desires.
Soren will continue to grow, and his Grandpa Godsey will continue to think he is the cutest kid in the world. And just like God’s love for us, Soren didn’t do a thing to deserve it, it is freely given.
Excited about watching Soren and Remnant grow… Jerry
He groans and his whole body shakes, then grunts hard. All the while, his grandma and I laugh like hyenas on a bender. We make cooing noises and say things like, “You’re pooping aren’t you? What a cutie! He’s so cute.” And we mean it. He’s pooping, and we think it’s the cutest thing in the world! We really need to get out of the house more often…
Of course, Soren is six weeks old. I doubt very seriously that as he ages his pooping will continue to be such an event. In fact, once it starts to stink, I doubt that Lanette and I will laugh with such joy. We will probably be glad that Soren can go back to his mom and dad while we go on our merry way.
So why is pooping so cute? It isn’t, really. Soren is cute. He is our first grandbaby and we love him like crazy. Lanette and I were holding Soren and talking about how ga-ga we are over this little guy. She looked at him and said, “Yeah, and he hasn’t done anything to deserve it.” And she’s right. Soren doesn’t do anything exciting, really. He doesn’t really laugh. Oh, we say it is a laugh, but it is really gas and we know it. I mentioned on my Facebook page that I would like to be able to pass gas like Soren does. His whole body is involved and everybody thinks it’s cute. When I pass gas, nobody thinks it’s cute.
No, Soren hasn’t done anything to deserve our love and devotion. Yet, we offer it unconditionally and unwaveringly. We really would do anything we could for this kid. I would fight any man alive to protect him, and God help the guy who tried to hurt him. I may not be the strongest guy in the world, but I would surely be the most motivated.
As he gets older he will grow and more things will be expected of him. Sure, pooping in your diaper is cute at six weeks. At six years old, not so much. At sixteen, well, there’s a real problem.
One of the great things about the church I co-pastor, Remnant, is that we have so many people who are new to faith. They are learning and growing, and it is exciting. Now, as they grow, they make mistakes. It is a natural part of the growth process.
We are currently in the beginning of a series on sexuality called, “You Can’t Say That In Church.” The idea is that we can glorify God by our purity and the way we handle this touchy area of life.
As the church continues to grow in size and in spiritual depth, Jeremiah and I will expect the people who attend Remnant to grow in this area and others. If you fail, you can take care of that, it’s part of growth. If you continue to fail in the same area, something is wrong with the way you are handling yourself.
I know people who have been in church for twenty years. They don’t have twenty years of experience, they have one year’s experience twenty times. They continually make the same mistakes in their lives because they refuse to give God the place in their lives he really desires.
Soren will continue to grow, and his Grandpa Godsey will continue to think he is the cutest kid in the world. And just like God’s love for us, Soren didn’t do a thing to deserve it, it is freely given.
Excited about watching Soren and Remnant grow… Jerry
Skunks In The Cellar
A lady was having trouble with a skunk in her cellar, so she called the police station and asked for help. They recommended that she make a trail of bread crumbs from the steps of the basement to the back of her yard, and wait for the skunk to follow it out. The next day she called the police station again, and said, "I did what you told me to do...and now I have two skunks in my basement."
Do you ever feel like your problems multiply? I hear people who are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. I talk to people are burdened down by their fears. They are having financial issues, their relationships are in trouble, they are afraid of what the future will bring. It all multiplies and adds up to a burden that weighs them down and keeps them from having the life they should have.
Jesus understood that we would have times like this, he said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
Jesus promises us some pretty cool things here. First of all, he says that he will give us rest. The Greek word for rest is “anapausin,” literally a vacation or second wind. If we will just give Jesus our burdens he will give us a rest, a chance to overcome the issues and pains of our lives.
Secondly, he says his yoke is easy and his burden is light. Today, with all of our modern farming machinery, this may not make much sense. The crowd Jesus was talking to understood it right away. In the first century, oxen were strapped into a yoke and used to mill grain. The yoke would span between two oxen, tying them together. So whenever a young ox needed to be trained he would be attached to the yoke of an older ox. The older ox would pull the yoke and the younger ox would follow in his footsteps and learn the steps, even though he wasn't actually pulling any of the load.
This illustrates the Christian life. Jesus is saying, "When you walk with me, I pull the load so that you don't have to. Let me do the hard work." Jesus will pull the load, all we have to do is follow him.
With those promises, why would we continue to struggle and do things on our own? I think it is because all of this comes at a price. The very beginning of the verse says, “Come to me…” It may sound simplistic, but God can’t work in your life if you won’t come to him. When we come to him, we bring everything we have and lay it at his feet—our sin, our guilt, our shame, our problems, our burdens, our fears, our doubts, our dreams, our goals, our ambitions—everything. And we give it all to him. This is how to enter the Christian life, and it is how to maintain the Christian life.
Being a Christian isn’t just about heaven and hell. It’s not even mostly about that. It is about making a life that is full and happy and fulfilling. It is a about a life that is able to overcome the problems and setbacks, not succumb to them. That is what Jesus promises, all we have to do is come to him and let him take our burdens and cares.
Trying to get the skunks out of my cellar… Jerry
Do you ever feel like your problems multiply? I hear people who are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. I talk to people are burdened down by their fears. They are having financial issues, their relationships are in trouble, they are afraid of what the future will bring. It all multiplies and adds up to a burden that weighs them down and keeps them from having the life they should have.
Jesus understood that we would have times like this, he said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
Jesus promises us some pretty cool things here. First of all, he says that he will give us rest. The Greek word for rest is “anapausin,” literally a vacation or second wind. If we will just give Jesus our burdens he will give us a rest, a chance to overcome the issues and pains of our lives.
Secondly, he says his yoke is easy and his burden is light. Today, with all of our modern farming machinery, this may not make much sense. The crowd Jesus was talking to understood it right away. In the first century, oxen were strapped into a yoke and used to mill grain. The yoke would span between two oxen, tying them together. So whenever a young ox needed to be trained he would be attached to the yoke of an older ox. The older ox would pull the yoke and the younger ox would follow in his footsteps and learn the steps, even though he wasn't actually pulling any of the load.
This illustrates the Christian life. Jesus is saying, "When you walk with me, I pull the load so that you don't have to. Let me do the hard work." Jesus will pull the load, all we have to do is follow him.
With those promises, why would we continue to struggle and do things on our own? I think it is because all of this comes at a price. The very beginning of the verse says, “Come to me…” It may sound simplistic, but God can’t work in your life if you won’t come to him. When we come to him, we bring everything we have and lay it at his feet—our sin, our guilt, our shame, our problems, our burdens, our fears, our doubts, our dreams, our goals, our ambitions—everything. And we give it all to him. This is how to enter the Christian life, and it is how to maintain the Christian life.
Being a Christian isn’t just about heaven and hell. It’s not even mostly about that. It is about making a life that is full and happy and fulfilling. It is a about a life that is able to overcome the problems and setbacks, not succumb to them. That is what Jesus promises, all we have to do is come to him and let him take our burdens and cares.
Trying to get the skunks out of my cellar… Jerry
Frankenstein Christians
He was seven feet tall with questionable taste in clothing and a stiff, ungainly gait. He was not known to be a great conversationalist. His skin was green and he had bolts in his neck. Some say he was a monster, others just said he was misunderstood. Either way, when he walked into the town square he was quite a sight!
I love the old Frankenstein movies with Boris Karloff as the monster. Classic stuff. In my opinion, the only good new Frankenstein movie is “Young Frankenstein” with Peter Boyle as the monster. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Boyle and Gene Wilder as Dr. Frankenstein singing (kind of) “Putting On The Ritz.”
Right now, you all have a mental picture of Frankenstein walking, don’t you? Arms outstretched, stiff legs moving slowly, one in front of the other. Tentatively moving forward, no joy, no happiness, just plodding forward, moving to the next goal.
The other night at Holy Grounds, Remnant’s coffee and Bible Study, Ronnie likened some Christians to Frankenstein. It was brilliant! I also told him I would steal his idea, and I have! I hear people say that they tried being a Christian, but it wasn’t for them. Or they just haven’t tried at all, and they assume that being a Christian is somehow boring or a hindrance to having fun or living.
These people are a lot like Frankenstein. They stumble through life stiffly, no joy, no happiness and no aim. They think that because they are miserable they must be godly.
Wrong!
Jesus said in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
What is the thief in your life? What is keeping you from having the best life you can, the life that God has wanted for you all along? Oh sure, we know the easy answers, drugs, life controlling habits, poverty or other issues. The thing is, those are all external issues, they can be fixed by a lifestyle change. You can go to rehab or AA, you can try to quit cold turkey. We see those things as the thieves in our lives. We say, “If I could only overcome (fill in the blank), THEN my life would be happy…”
The problem with that line of thinking is that it isn’t true. You see, all of our life controlling issues come from something missing in us.
It grieves me that so many of the people with life controlling issues never once think about Jesus as the answer to their problems. Christians must accept responsibility for that. We have looked down on people with needs or issues and made them feel less than welcome when they come to church or if we see them in the streets. We have done the stiff, “I am better than you” Frankenstein walk for so long that the last place hurting people think they can turn is to us.
We need to love people like Jesus did. The David Crowder band has a great song we sing at Remnant. It says, “He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, And I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me.” Life, and have it to the full… THAT is what we must model to those who see us each day. Not the Frankenstein walk, but the walk of the forgiven who freely acknowledge that we have a gift we can give to others.
Limbering up my walk… Jerry
I love the old Frankenstein movies with Boris Karloff as the monster. Classic stuff. In my opinion, the only good new Frankenstein movie is “Young Frankenstein” with Peter Boyle as the monster. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Boyle and Gene Wilder as Dr. Frankenstein singing (kind of) “Putting On The Ritz.”
Right now, you all have a mental picture of Frankenstein walking, don’t you? Arms outstretched, stiff legs moving slowly, one in front of the other. Tentatively moving forward, no joy, no happiness, just plodding forward, moving to the next goal.
The other night at Holy Grounds, Remnant’s coffee and Bible Study, Ronnie likened some Christians to Frankenstein. It was brilliant! I also told him I would steal his idea, and I have! I hear people say that they tried being a Christian, but it wasn’t for them. Or they just haven’t tried at all, and they assume that being a Christian is somehow boring or a hindrance to having fun or living.
These people are a lot like Frankenstein. They stumble through life stiffly, no joy, no happiness and no aim. They think that because they are miserable they must be godly.
Wrong!
Jesus said in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
What is the thief in your life? What is keeping you from having the best life you can, the life that God has wanted for you all along? Oh sure, we know the easy answers, drugs, life controlling habits, poverty or other issues. The thing is, those are all external issues, they can be fixed by a lifestyle change. You can go to rehab or AA, you can try to quit cold turkey. We see those things as the thieves in our lives. We say, “If I could only overcome (fill in the blank), THEN my life would be happy…”
The problem with that line of thinking is that it isn’t true. You see, all of our life controlling issues come from something missing in us.
It grieves me that so many of the people with life controlling issues never once think about Jesus as the answer to their problems. Christians must accept responsibility for that. We have looked down on people with needs or issues and made them feel less than welcome when they come to church or if we see them in the streets. We have done the stiff, “I am better than you” Frankenstein walk for so long that the last place hurting people think they can turn is to us.
We need to love people like Jesus did. The David Crowder band has a great song we sing at Remnant. It says, “He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, And I realize just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me.” Life, and have it to the full… THAT is what we must model to those who see us each day. Not the Frankenstein walk, but the walk of the forgiven who freely acknowledge that we have a gift we can give to others.
Limbering up my walk… Jerry
Adultery
Sorry, folks, there isn’t anything funny in this week’s column. I tried to come up with a way to couch the message in some kind of allegory or illustration. I tried to think of a humorous anecdote to introduce this subject. The problem is that way we dance around this issue too much, we try too hard to talk carefully about it. We find ways to excuse it, to justify it, to somehow lessen its impact. The problem is, we can’t.
The topic of today is adultery. The dictionary defines adultery as, “voluntary sexual activity between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband.” The problem with that definition is that it is incomplete.
Here is how I define adultery, “A voluntary physical or mental act by a man or woman who is willing to break a sacred vow to their spouse, their children and their family in exchange for stolen moments of physical gratification.” Or how about this one, “An act of pure selfishness by someone who decides that whatever physical or mental desires they have is more important than the pain and hurt their actions may cause.” Notice I threw in mental. You cheat with your heart long before you cheat with your body.
Chances are good that your marriage vows said, “ to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse… to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.” There’s really not a lot of wriggle room there. It doesn’t say, “until something better comes along.” Or, “until a really hot chick catches my eye, then all bets are off.”
Our eyes or heart begin to look around because we are either bored or dissatisfied at home. Instead of remembering our vows and working on our relationship, we look to someone else. We begin to justify our thoughts long before they lead to actions. We blame it on our spouse, or stress or even the other person. If they didn’t flirt with us, or if they dressed differently then we wouldn’t be so tempted. Or we lie to ourselves and say that we would never cheat, we’re just having harmless fun.
Baloney! James 1:14, 15 says, “each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” In short, we have no one to blame for our sin but us.
The problem is that we don’t begin with the end in mind. Next time you are tempted to stray, as your mind begins to fantasize about that other person, I want you to try something.
Go into your bathroom and look into the mirror and see the face of your spouse, your children, your parents, or someone who really trusts you. Now imagine telling them what you are doing. Imagine looking into your son or daughter’s face and saying, “Daddy has to move away and your life is going to be cheated because I couldn’t control my lust. I hope that the person you someday marry will never do to you what your dad did to your mom.”
Or try this, drive past your house and park down the street. Now imagine your kids playing inside it without you. Or imagine them sitting down to dinner with their mom and her new husband. Imagine some other man raising your kids while you get to see them on the weekends.
Now tell me that a physical or mental relationship with someone else is worth it. Tell me that the pain that your sin will cause is worth it all. I doubt very seriously you can do it.
Begging you to count the cost before you act… Jerry
The topic of today is adultery. The dictionary defines adultery as, “voluntary sexual activity between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband.” The problem with that definition is that it is incomplete.
Here is how I define adultery, “A voluntary physical or mental act by a man or woman who is willing to break a sacred vow to their spouse, their children and their family in exchange for stolen moments of physical gratification.” Or how about this one, “An act of pure selfishness by someone who decides that whatever physical or mental desires they have is more important than the pain and hurt their actions may cause.” Notice I threw in mental. You cheat with your heart long before you cheat with your body.
Chances are good that your marriage vows said, “ to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse… to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.” There’s really not a lot of wriggle room there. It doesn’t say, “until something better comes along.” Or, “until a really hot chick catches my eye, then all bets are off.”
Our eyes or heart begin to look around because we are either bored or dissatisfied at home. Instead of remembering our vows and working on our relationship, we look to someone else. We begin to justify our thoughts long before they lead to actions. We blame it on our spouse, or stress or even the other person. If they didn’t flirt with us, or if they dressed differently then we wouldn’t be so tempted. Or we lie to ourselves and say that we would never cheat, we’re just having harmless fun.
Baloney! James 1:14, 15 says, “each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” In short, we have no one to blame for our sin but us.
The problem is that we don’t begin with the end in mind. Next time you are tempted to stray, as your mind begins to fantasize about that other person, I want you to try something.
Go into your bathroom and look into the mirror and see the face of your spouse, your children, your parents, or someone who really trusts you. Now imagine telling them what you are doing. Imagine looking into your son or daughter’s face and saying, “Daddy has to move away and your life is going to be cheated because I couldn’t control my lust. I hope that the person you someday marry will never do to you what your dad did to your mom.”
Or try this, drive past your house and park down the street. Now imagine your kids playing inside it without you. Or imagine them sitting down to dinner with their mom and her new husband. Imagine some other man raising your kids while you get to see them on the weekends.
Now tell me that a physical or mental relationship with someone else is worth it. Tell me that the pain that your sin will cause is worth it all. I doubt very seriously you can do it.
Begging you to count the cost before you act… Jerry
Fred And the Earthworm
Fred is busy. He has work to do, and he gets it done. He goes through his life just fine. He doesn’t think he has any problems, and he doesn’t need any help. His friends have told him there is more than this life, but he’s not buying it. “What more can there be than this,” he thinks to himself. His friends talk about a being that is more powerful, more advanced and totally different.
Fred doesn’t have any use for mysterious beings that are higher than him. He can’t put his hands on it, he has never seen evidence, never touched them, so he doesn’t believe. “If you can prove to me that there is something greater than me, I will believe it. But until I can comprehend it with my mind, until I can figure it out, I refuse to believe it exists.”
Just a few feet from where Fred lives something he can’t even imagine is going on. The being that he doesn’t think exists is getting dressed for work, eating dinner with his wife and going about his daily routine. Just because Fred doesn’t understand or comprehend what he does doesn’t meant that he doesn’t exist.
Fred is an earthworm in my backyard. He would be totally shocked to find out that I am living just a few feet from him. He would be awestruck to find out that I have legs and move by walking. Cars, television and toasters would mystify him beyond his wildest dreams. The fact that Fred can’t figure me out doesn’t mean that I don’t exist and doesn’t diminish my life. It just means that Fred doesn’t have the capacity to fully understand someone like me.
Our new series at Remnant is called “Elements” and it is all about what Christians believe and why. The first few weeks have been about God, and I have been really spinning in my head trying to grasp the magnitude, magnificence and love of the God I serve.
John Wesley put it best, “Show me a worm who can comprehend a man, and I will show you a man who can comprehend God.” Just as it would be arrogance for Fred to deny my existence simply because his tiny brain can’t figure me out, so it is arrogance for people to say that there is no God simply because they can’t wrap their mind around it.
God is not diminished by unbelief. He is still just as magnificent, just as powerful, just as amazing. God isn’t diminished, but your life is. You’re missing out on the greatest thing that can happen to you, a relationship with the God who sent his own Son for you. It truly is amazing.
Deep within the core of the sun, the temperature is 27 million degrees. The pressure is 340 billion times what it is here on Earth. And in the sun’s core, that insanely hot temperature and unthinkable pressure combine to create nuclear reactions. In each reaction, 4 protons fuse together to create 1 alpha particle, which is .7 percent less massive than the 4 protons. The difference in mass is expelled as energy, and after one million years, through a process called convection, this energy from the core of the sun finally reaches the surface, where it’s expelled as heat and light.
Now that was all kind of interesting, but you know what? I didn’t need to know all that in order to get a tan! If you are one of the people out there who just can’t figure out God, quit trying. You don’t really need to understand God to worship him.
For more details, check out the Remnant podcasts at www.remnantchurchonline.com and drop me a line. I would love to talk to you about it.
Getting a tan and digging up Fred… Jerry
Fred doesn’t have any use for mysterious beings that are higher than him. He can’t put his hands on it, he has never seen evidence, never touched them, so he doesn’t believe. “If you can prove to me that there is something greater than me, I will believe it. But until I can comprehend it with my mind, until I can figure it out, I refuse to believe it exists.”
Just a few feet from where Fred lives something he can’t even imagine is going on. The being that he doesn’t think exists is getting dressed for work, eating dinner with his wife and going about his daily routine. Just because Fred doesn’t understand or comprehend what he does doesn’t meant that he doesn’t exist.
Fred is an earthworm in my backyard. He would be totally shocked to find out that I am living just a few feet from him. He would be awestruck to find out that I have legs and move by walking. Cars, television and toasters would mystify him beyond his wildest dreams. The fact that Fred can’t figure me out doesn’t mean that I don’t exist and doesn’t diminish my life. It just means that Fred doesn’t have the capacity to fully understand someone like me.
Our new series at Remnant is called “Elements” and it is all about what Christians believe and why. The first few weeks have been about God, and I have been really spinning in my head trying to grasp the magnitude, magnificence and love of the God I serve.
John Wesley put it best, “Show me a worm who can comprehend a man, and I will show you a man who can comprehend God.” Just as it would be arrogance for Fred to deny my existence simply because his tiny brain can’t figure me out, so it is arrogance for people to say that there is no God simply because they can’t wrap their mind around it.
God is not diminished by unbelief. He is still just as magnificent, just as powerful, just as amazing. God isn’t diminished, but your life is. You’re missing out on the greatest thing that can happen to you, a relationship with the God who sent his own Son for you. It truly is amazing.
Deep within the core of the sun, the temperature is 27 million degrees. The pressure is 340 billion times what it is here on Earth. And in the sun’s core, that insanely hot temperature and unthinkable pressure combine to create nuclear reactions. In each reaction, 4 protons fuse together to create 1 alpha particle, which is .7 percent less massive than the 4 protons. The difference in mass is expelled as energy, and after one million years, through a process called convection, this energy from the core of the sun finally reaches the surface, where it’s expelled as heat and light.
Now that was all kind of interesting, but you know what? I didn’t need to know all that in order to get a tan! If you are one of the people out there who just can’t figure out God, quit trying. You don’t really need to understand God to worship him.
For more details, check out the Remnant podcasts at www.remnantchurchonline.com and drop me a line. I would love to talk to you about it.
Getting a tan and digging up Fred… Jerry
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